1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:05,464 ♪ Some walk by night ♪ 2 00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:10,302 ♪ Some fly by day ♪ 3 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:14,306 ♪ Nothing could change you ♪ 4 00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:19,937 ♪ Set and sure of the way ♪ 5 00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:24,775 ♪ There is the sun and moon ♪ 6 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:29,196 ♪ They sing their own sweet tune ♪ 7 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:33,951 ♪ Watch them when dawn is due ♪ 8 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:38,789 ♪ Sharing one space ♪ 9 00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:43,293 ♪ We'll walk by night, babe ♪ 10 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:48,006 ♪ We'll fly by day ♪ 11 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:52,261 ♪ Moonlighting strangers ♪ 12 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:56,473 ♪ Who just met on the way ♪ 13 00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,497 Joseph. 14 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,625 Joseph, I hear something out in the living room. 15 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,753 It's nothing. 16 00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:11,256 Joseph. 17 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,971 Wait here. 18 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,910 Joseph. 19 00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:42,037 This is it? 20 00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:44,873 This is the best that the Witness Protection Program could do? 21 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:47,584 An apartment? A tiny apartment? 22 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,712 Hell, my cell was bigger than this place. 23 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,589 Hey, Leonard. 24 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:58,345 I... I didn't wanna testify. 25 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,974 You cut a stupid deal, Joseph. 26 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,476 You thought I wouldn't find you? 27 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,144 You thought I'd just rot in jail 28 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,813 and never come look for you? 29 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,649 You have to believe me. I had no choice. 30 00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:12,609 I do believe you. 31 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:15,112 I bet you feel just awful about it. 32 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,950 Sending your best friend and partner to jail. 33 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:24,079 I bet the memory of that has been haunting you for years. 34 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:27,958 I know it's helped me come to grips with the reality of your suicide. 35 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,209 Suicide? 36 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,797 That's the way I heard it. 37 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:37,050 Got stinking drunk three days before Christmas 38 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,052 and fell over his balcony! 39 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,937 Three years, Joseph. 40 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:54,234 Three years I've been waiting to catch up with you. Three years! 41 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:05,412 Hey, I think I hear Santa Claus outside. 42 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,747 You wanna go on the balcony and take a look? 43 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,583 No! 44 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,669 No... No. No! No. 45 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,226 Married? Got a kid? 46 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,813 Where are they? 47 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,857 Toss this thrash. I'll be back. 48 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,710 Please don't cry. 49 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,882 Season's greetings! 50 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,968 ♪ You better watch out, you better not cry ♪ 51 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:05,430 ♪ You better not pout, I'm telling you why ♪ 52 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,433 ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town ♪ 53 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,936 ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town ♪ 54 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:16,983 ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town ♪ 55 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,070 ♪ He's making a list, he's checking it twice ♪ 56 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:23,782 ♪ He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice ♪ 57 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:26,910 ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town ♪ 58 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,412 ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town ♪ 59 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:35,126 ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town ♪ 60 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:38,213 ♪ He sees you when you're sleeping ♪ 61 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:41,341 ♪ He knows when you're awake ♪ 62 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,553 ♪ He knows when you've been bad or good ♪ 63 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,305 ♪ So be good for goodness sake ♪ 64 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,891 ♪ Oh, you better watch out ♪ 65 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,816 ♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪ 66 00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:01,111 ♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town, Santa... ♪ 67 00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,535 Sorry. 68 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:21,548 ♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪ 69 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,842 ♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪ 70 00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:26,553 ♪ Santa Claus is com... ♪ 71 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,629 Wow. 72 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,728 I don't need it. Oh, forget it. 73 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,148 This is a legit thing. Come on. 74 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,318 Santa's Hotline, North Pole. 75 00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:26,029 Well, hello, little girl. What do you like? 76 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:29,783 Santa's Hotline. Can I help you? 77 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,662 A train set, sure. 78 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,372 Santa's Hotline, North Pole, hello. 79 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:43,088 North Pole, Santa speaking. Ho ho ho. 80 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:46,341 Sure I'm sure this is Santa Claus. Who's this? 81 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:49,719 Ingrid... And how old are you, Ingrid? 82 00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:52,764 Twenty-three, really? 83 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:56,059 So tell me, Ingrid. You been good? 84 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,311 You been good a lot? 85 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,689 You ever been great, Ingrid? 86 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:03,566 Would you like to be? 87 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:07,112 Are you kidding? Why do you think Santa's always so jolly? 88 00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,948 Ooh, Ingrid, gotta go. Head elf just walked in, and she doesn't look happy. 89 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:13,284 You got it. Three days from tonight. I'll be the one in red. Morning. 90 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:17,497 - You got that right. - Ooh. Shot in the dark. You're not happy. 91 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:21,084 - Would you tell me what is going on? - Going on? 92 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:24,045 Going on in our outer office. Going on in your inner office. 93 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,797 The phone is ringing off the hook, and people 94 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:28,425 are answering "North Pole"-- why are they doing that? 95 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:31,469 Because if they answered them any other way, nobody'd believe Santy Claus lived here. 96 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,263 - I see. - You do? 97 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,597 No, I don't, I just wanted to say that 98 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,307 to see how it would feel. 99 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,017 It doesn't feel any different. 100 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,477 Excuse me. 101 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,856 North Pole, Santa speaking. Ho ho ho. 102 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,358 - No problem. He wants to speak to you. - To me? 103 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,028 Hello? 104 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,907 No, this is not Mrs. Claus! 105 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,743 What are you doing? Hello? Are you still there? 106 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,453 She didn't mean it. 107 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,290 Well, I hope you're happy. 108 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,959 David, would you please tell me what is going on? 109 00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:04,961 - Santa's Hotline. - Santa's what line? 110 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,130 Santa's Hotline! 111 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,424 Maddie, look out there. What do you see? 112 00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:11,843 You ever notice you answer all my questions with a question? 113 00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,595 I do? 114 00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:15,555 I see a world starving for hope. 115 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,725 A world starving for fantasy. A world starving for joy. 116 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,102 - How about you? - I'm fine, I ate before I came in. 117 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:23,438 I don't know if you noticed it, but you just did it again. 118 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:26,191 - What's that? - Answered a question with a question! 119 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,318 I did? 120 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,195 - Where was I? - Everyone was starving. 121 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:32,989 Ah, yes. Now, I don't know if you believe this about me, 122 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,283 but I take all this pain and suffering very personally. 123 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,410 - I'll bet you do. - Many's the night I sat up thinking. 124 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,788 - Imagine sitting and thinking. - And then last night, it hit me. 125 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:42,499 - Left a bruise, I hope. - Who is the one beacon of hope, 126 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:45,084 of fantasy, of joy still left out there in the world? 127 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:48,671 - Steven Spielberg? - Santy Claus! 128 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:51,049 - Oh, yeah? - But all is not well at the North Pole. 129 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,842 - No, huh? - No, Maddie, you see, 130 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,552 we're living in an age of state-of-the-art technology. 131 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,387 Global travel, split-second communications. 132 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,098 - Is that bad? - It is if you're Kris Kringle. 133 00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,599 - Do tell. - All right, I will. 134 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,810 - You're a child. - Watch it. 135 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:04,062 You wanna tell Santa Claus what to bring you for Christmas. What do you do? 136 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:06,147 - Write a letter. - Ha! I can see you haven't been around a lot of kids. 137 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,191 - Nobody writes anymore. - They don't? 138 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,360 Hell no. They're too busy studying for SATs, 139 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,779 applying for credit cards, going through detox. 140 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,698 - The joys of childhood. - And that's where Santa's Hotline comes in. 141 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,784 By simply dialing our convenient 900 number, 142 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,411 children from all over the free world can converse directly 143 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,747 and in total privacy with Old Saint Nick, or one of his personally-appointed helpers, 144 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,749 all for the low, low price of $1.75 a minute, 145 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,501 plus the cost of the toll call! 146 00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,419 Prices may vary outside the continental United States. 147 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,004 - You like? - I hate! 148 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,714 You wanna take a second and think about it? 149 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,174 Just when I think you've sunk as low as you can go, 150 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,634 you find a basement door. 151 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,302 Check me here, but you seem a trifle disturbed. 152 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,471 You have the morals of a rabbit, the character of a slug, 153 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,223 - the brain of a platypus. - You're making me-- 154 00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,475 How can a man try to make a profit out of Christmas? 155 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,602 It's easy! You call the phone company and place an ad. 156 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:47,105 - Had the whole thing cranked in about an hour and a half. - Ooh! 157 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,607 I just wanna scrape you off the bottom of my shoe. 158 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:54,988 Hey, wait a minute. You're not fooling me. I know what that means. 159 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,327 Did you hear a baby? 160 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,914 Did you hear a baby? 161 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,335 Where did it sound like it came from to you? 162 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:12,255 I'm not sure. Where did it sound like it came from to you? 163 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:23,349 Santa's, uh, Hotline, ho-ho-ho. We're here to listen, so-so-so. 164 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,560 Tell me what you want. Tell me what you'd like. 165 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,270 A new baby doll or a shiny new bike? 166 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,939 Just tell me what it is. I'll tell you-know-who. 167 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,400 And if you've been good, he'll bring it to you. 168 00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:40,700 What baby? I don't hear a baby. 169 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,622 Thanks, kid! 170 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:49,417 Just for that, you're not gonna get anything this year! 171 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,928 I think I need to talk to someone about a maternity leave. 172 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,559 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪ 173 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,645 ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ 174 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,438 ♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪ 175 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:13,316 So you just walked in and there he was? 176 00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:16,945 Yeah, right on top of the delicates and fine fabrics. 177 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:20,323 - Well, it's clear what we have to do. - Why? Do you smell something? 178 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:23,368 - No. I mean, we have to call the police. - Why? What's the kid done? 179 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:26,329 - Police? - Ms. DiPesto, that baby belongs to someone, 180 00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:29,332 and someone is probably worried sick about where he is. 181 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:32,961 Oh... yeah. 182 00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:36,130 Right. But on the other hand, 183 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:39,968 it may just be that whoever left this baby knew exactly what they were doing... 184 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:42,136 and exactly who they were leaving it with. 185 00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,431 Thanks, Mr. Addison. 186 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,226 May I speak to you outside, please? 187 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:54,524 Santa's Hotline. Hello? 188 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,484 - What are you doing? - I don't know, "Marty," what do you wanna do? 189 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,319 I mean about her-- encouraging her. 190 00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,613 She has no business keeping that baby, and you know it. 191 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,448 - I don't know it. I don't know anything. - Will you put that in writing? 192 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,034 I do know this: you call the police, you know what'll happen? 193 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,203 - Sure, they return that baby to its rightful mother. - If there is a rightful mother. 194 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,664 If the rightful mother isn't 14 and just abandoned it somewhere. 195 00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,207 If the rightful mother can even be found, 196 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,625 or if the rightful mother is even interested-- 197 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,544 - What is your point? - It's Christmas. 198 00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:16,546 - So? - So? 199 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:18,840 Did you see the look in old Agnes's eyes? 200 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,009 They were both pointing in the same direction for once. 201 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,094 - Please. - Maddie, given a choice, 202 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,263 where would you rather have that baby spend the holidays? 203 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,098 In some cold, sterile institution 204 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,891 or under the loving, watchful eyes of Agnes-- 205 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,601 - I'm calling the police. - Fine, call 'em. 206 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,228 Just don't tell 'em you found the baby. 207 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,689 And what would you have me tell them? 208 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:37,275 Ask them if they're looking for one, and if they are, what's it look like? 209 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,610 - And if they say no? - Then DiPesto watches the baby 210 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:40,987 while you and I go find the mother. 211 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:44,490 Find the mother? And how we gonna do that? 212 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,367 We're detectives, remember? 213 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,411 We go to Agnes's house and look for clues. 214 00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,747 And what about DiPesto? What does she know about taking care of a baby? 215 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,206 There's a first time for everything. 216 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,458 It costs money to take care of babies! 217 00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:54,709 So you'll give her a raise. 218 00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:55,835 Well, she has a tiny apartment. 219 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,171 So they can stay at your place. 220 00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,630 They can what? 221 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,683 - Cute kid, huh? - Excuse me? 222 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,061 That baby. He's cute, huh? 223 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,937 Yeah, sure, I suppose. 224 00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:19,942 "Yeah, sure, you suppose"? What's the matter? 225 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,486 What makes you think something's the matter? 226 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,613 I don't know. 227 00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,199 You just didn't make much of a fuss about that baby, that's all. 228 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,785 That doesn't mean something's the matter. David... 229 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,828 I'm not the kind of woman to make a fuss over children. 230 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:32,080 - Really? - Really. 231 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,247 - Yeah? - Yeah. 232 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,957 - Wow. - Wow. 233 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,838 - I'm just really surprised. - About what? 234 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:43,091 - About your attitude. - About what? 235 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:45,468 - About children. - How can you be surprised about my attitude about children 236 00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:49,097 - when you don't know what my attitude is? - Well, it's pretty obvious. 237 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,973 - It's pretty obvious? - Pretty obvious. 238 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,683 - I don't wanna have this conversation. - You don't? 239 00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:55,770 - I don't. - You don't, you don't. 240 00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:56,938 - Fine. - Fine. 241 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:59,148 - Good. - Good. 242 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,198 - Now, I wanna say something here. - How unusual. 243 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:10,201 - It might sound a little out of line. - Hard to believe. 244 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:12,537 But me, personally, I think you'd make a hell of a mother. 245 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:22,338 - Thank you. - I mean, I know it's not my place, 246 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,298 but I just have this instinct. 247 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,717 Well, it doesn't matter because we'll probably never know. 248 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:30,596 - What do you mean by that? - What do you mean, what do I mean by that? 249 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:33,516 David, look at my life. I live alone. 250 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,227 I'm trying to make a business work. I'm not-- 251 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,812 - You happy? - Happy? 252 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:41,023 I mean... if you wanted to have a child-- 253 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,859 - But I don't. But I don't. - But if you did. But if you did. 254 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,986 - But I don't! What?! - But if you did! 255 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,238 I would help. 256 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:54,162 - You would, huh? - What are friends for? 257 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,205 That's not the kind of help I need. 258 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,207 That's not the kind of help I meant. I meant... 259 00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,501 I mean... 260 00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:04,714 that if you met somebody... and you wanted to have a baby, I would help. 261 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:07,800 I would hold the fort down around the office if you wanted to stay home. 262 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,219 What? You mean you wouldn't have the baby for me? 263 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,138 - Hey, I wish I could. - You do, huh? 264 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,307 - Really, I would if I could. - Sure you would. 265 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,392 - I would. - Ha! Yeah, right. 266 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,810 - I mean it. - Sure! 267 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,854 - You don't believe me? - No. 268 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,564 - Why not? - Because. 269 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:24,066 That's just one of those things men say to women 270 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,569 because they know it'll never happen. 271 00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:29,030 Well, I mean it. 272 00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,908 - So if you change your mind-- - You will have a baby for me? 273 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:35,328 - I'll give it my best shot. - What a guy. 274 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,081 See if I can just find the apartment key here. 275 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,250 You folks live here? 276 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,212 Reuben King. How are you today, Mr. And Mrs., uh-- 277 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:47,548 - DiPesto, 723. - Department of Justice? 278 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,593 We're investigating a little mishap that occurred in the building yesterday evening. 279 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:53,012 We're asking all the tenants if they saw or heard anything. 280 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:56,807 I wonder if I might ask you folks to follow me up to 316. 281 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,731 Saul? Guys? Company. 282 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:08,819 This is the DiPesto family from 723, upstairs. 283 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,238 - Saul King. - Jim King. 284 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,489 - And your name again? - Reuben King. 285 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:12,990 - Three Kings. - That's right. 286 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,326 Two aces, you win. It's the King family. 287 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,453 Mr. King... Hmm? 288 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,413 This Mr. King... 289 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:22,291 said something about a mishap last night? 290 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:24,377 - You folks know the Goodmans? - The Goodmans? 291 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,295 They lived here. Seems Mr. Goodman had 292 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,547 too much to drink last night, fell off his balcony. 293 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,925 - How horrible! - What's the Justice Department 294 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:33,219 care about a guy taking a swan dive off his terrace? 295 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:36,347 Well, Mr. Goodman was a participant in our Witness Protection program. 296 00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:39,350 He testified several years ago on a racketeering case, 297 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:42,436 and in exchange, we provided him with a new identity. 298 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:45,147 We just wanna be sure there's been no foul play. 299 00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,858 - You think there was? - Well, nobody's been able 300 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:50,236 to find Mrs. Goodman... or the baby. 301 00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:54,782 - The baby? - There was a six-month-old boy. 302 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:57,660 Nobody's seen either of them since last night. 303 00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,370 You folks don't know anything, do you? 304 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,163 - Us? - Dumb and Dumber? 305 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,624 - We don't know a thing. - Wait a minute, who's Dumber? 306 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,546 That little baby's mother isn't coming back, is she? 307 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:11,632 Not if she was the one who showed her husband that shortcut to the street, no. 308 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,592 - I knew it! I knew it. - You knew what? 309 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,553 I knew I should've called the police this afternoon. 310 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,054 Why? What difference would that have made? 311 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,056 What difference would it have made? 312 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:22,435 What difference would it have made? Don't you see what's gonna happen? 313 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,979 Tomorrow, this whole story is gonna be on the news, in the papers. 314 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:28,149 "Husband murdered. Mother and child sought." 315 00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:31,319 The child is at my house, David. That makes me something. 316 00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:34,071 - An accomplice or something. - It makes you a nice person. 317 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,865 Something you go to jail for, I think. 318 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:38,951 - You think so, huh? - Yes, I think so, huh. 319 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:42,330 Why am I talking to you? Talking to you is what got me 320 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:43,497 into this trouble in the first place. 321 00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,291 Just drop me off at my house. 322 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,877 I'll tell DiPesto what happened and call the police. 323 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:51,839 That's all I can do. I mean, I have no choice. 324 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,592 You wouldn't consider letting it wait until the morning, would you? 325 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:57,762 - What? - Morning. Come on, "morning." 326 00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,723 Begins the day, precedes the afternoon, becomes Electra. 327 00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:03,059 No, it cannot wait until tomorrow morning. 328 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,145 Right. 329 00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:11,734 - All right. What does the "right" mean? - Nothing. 330 00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:14,654 Clearly it means something. I wanna know what it meant. 331 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,822 The right was for me. It wasn't for you. 332 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,158 You said it, I heard it, and I'd like to know what it meant. 333 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,910 - Well, I'm not telling you. - You're not? 334 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,162 - No, I'm not. - It's awful, isn't it? 335 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,455 I'm not telling you. 336 00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,499 Whatever that "right" was, 337 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,084 it must be pretty awful. 338 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,335 Drop it, Maddie. 339 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,295 - Fine. Good. - Fine. Good. 340 00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:33,047 - Give me a hint. - Maddie! 341 00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,966 I wanna know what it meant! I deserve to know what it meant. 342 00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:38,260 I heard it, and it was about me. 343 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,763 All right, you wanna know what it meant? I'll tell you what it meant. 344 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:43,140 It meant right, that you are not about to wait till tomorrow morning to tell her 345 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,643 because that would give her a whole evening of pleasure with that baby. 346 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:48,229 And you are not about to give her a whole evening of pleasure with that baby 347 00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:50,940 because that would make you crazy-- no, strike that-- crazier than you already are. 348 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,109 - That's a lie! - Right. 349 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,944 Stop that! 350 00:19:57,071 --> 00:20:01,075 Why would I begrudge DiPesto a night of pleasure with that baby? 351 00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,249 Well, you're wrong. 352 00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:10,501 I'm turning that baby over to the police 353 00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,838 because that is the best thing to do for all concerned, and that's that. 354 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,891 Ms. DiPesto? 355 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:32,898 ♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪ 356 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:36,610 ♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪ 357 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,328 I hope you don't mind my plugging it in. 358 00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:48,497 It was getting dark. 359 00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,586 It's a beautiful tree. 360 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,130 You live alone, you don't bother to get a big tree. 361 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,842 Oh, yeah, that's right. You live alone, too. 362 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:04,096 He's beautiful, isn't he? 363 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:11,228 Christmas and children. 364 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:16,358 They make up for a lot of the bad stuff. 365 00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:18,944 They sure do. 366 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:23,782 - So, what did you find out? - About what? 367 00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:28,621 About his mother and his father. 368 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,247 About where he comes from. 369 00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:32,208 His mother and his father? 370 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:35,169 I thought about what you said, and you're right. 371 00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:39,131 A little boy should be with his mother and his father on Christmas. 372 00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:46,138 I'm sure going to enjoy him while I have him, though. 373 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,765 Yes. 374 00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:51,352 He is something, isn't he? 375 00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:54,605 Wanna share him with me? 376 00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:57,483 - Share him with you? - Share him with me. 377 00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:01,237 It's Christmastime. 378 00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:23,801 Share him with you, huh? 379 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:31,850 There's nothing better in the whole world 380 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:35,271 than spending Christmas Eve 381 00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:38,899 under a tree... 382 00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:41,068 with a baby... 383 00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:42,820 waitin' for Santa Claus. 384 00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:47,032 So, what'd you find out? 385 00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:49,034 Find out? 386 00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:53,914 Well... 387 00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:56,750 I, uh, didn't find out a thing. 388 00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:59,587 Really? 389 00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:04,633 - That's too bad. - Yeah, isn't it? 390 00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:11,390 Merry Christmas, Miss Hayes. 391 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:13,934 Merry Christmas, Miss DiPesto. 392 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,361 What I figured was, after you picked up your clothes, 393 00:23:24,361 --> 00:23:26,196 we could go by a baby store on the way to the office. 394 00:23:26,196 --> 00:23:28,282 Sounds good to me. 395 00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:32,578 - You know what, Miss Hayes? - What, Miss DiPesto? 396 00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:36,081 There's no one I'd rather have children with than you. 397 00:23:45,591 --> 00:23:48,844 Agnes? I'll just be a minute. 398 00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:56,143 We'll sit down here. Come on, kid. 399 00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:07,738 ♪ Hush, little baby, don't you cry ♪ 400 00:24:07,738 --> 00:24:10,491 ♪ Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird ♪ 401 00:24:10,491 --> 00:24:13,077 ♪ If that mockingbird don't sing ♪ 402 00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:15,954 ♪ Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring ♪ 403 00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:18,874 ♪ If that diamond ring don't shine ♪ 404 00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:20,417 ♪ Mama's gonna buy... ♪ 405 00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:23,128 What? A valentine? 406 00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:25,506 I didn't mean to frighten you. 407 00:24:26,590 --> 00:24:30,010 Saw you and your friend coming through the lobby with this "bambine" and... 408 00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:33,013 I don't know if you heard, a man died in this building a couple nights ago. 409 00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:35,974 - There's an investigation going on-- - Are you an investigator? 410 00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:38,394 Looking for a mother and her baby. 411 00:24:38,394 --> 00:24:39,895 I know all about it. Do you always 412 00:24:39,895 --> 00:24:42,356 walk into other people's apartments unannounced? 413 00:24:42,356 --> 00:24:44,191 Not always, no. 414 00:24:44,191 --> 00:24:47,778 Gee, no toys, no crib. Where does the little guy bunk? 415 00:24:47,778 --> 00:24:50,280 The baby doesn't live here and neither do I. 416 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,491 - Now would you please leave? - Is it your baby? 417 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,994 Oh, I don't know why, but I got the feeling it wasn't your baby. 418 00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:58,497 - I think you'd better go. - Would you mind if I asked your friend some questions? 419 00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:01,333 - My friend is in the shower. - Drip-dry suit. 420 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,252 If you don't leave I'll... I'll... 421 00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:07,589 The mind reels. Look, let's understand something. 422 00:25:07,589 --> 00:25:09,925 I'm watching you, and I'm watching that baby, 423 00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:12,845 because where that baby is, the mother is going to be. 424 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:15,180 And I'm going to find her. 425 00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:21,437 And to all, a good night. 426 00:25:25,983 --> 00:25:28,402 ♪ I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair ♪ 427 00:25:28,402 --> 00:25:30,988 ♪ I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair ♪ 428 00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:33,866 ♪ I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair ♪ 429 00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:37,453 ♪ Send him on his way ♪ 430 00:25:37,453 --> 00:25:38,662 Oh... 431 00:25:38,662 --> 00:25:41,165 No, little baby, I don't mean you. 432 00:25:41,165 --> 00:25:44,293 - You'd better hurry up and get changed. - Is something the matter? 433 00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:47,671 But I don't understand. If there's an investigation, 434 00:25:47,671 --> 00:25:50,507 and he's an investigator, maybe we should give him the baby. 435 00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:52,134 I'm not sure he's an investigator. 436 00:25:52,134 --> 00:25:53,469 I'm not sure what he is. 437 00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:54,970 Wait a second. 438 00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:56,847 You mean his mother is a killer? 439 00:25:56,847 --> 00:25:59,683 - That's what these investigators think. - How awful. 440 00:25:59,683 --> 00:26:02,019 I hope that kind of thing's not hereditary. 441 00:26:02,019 --> 00:26:04,730 Better make sure there's no guns or knives around the office. 442 00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:07,232 Well, look in the back seat of the car! 443 00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:09,610 There you are. I've been tying up the hotline trying to find you. 444 00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:11,487 - Please. - So, didn't turn in the rug rat, huh? 445 00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:13,739 - Change of heart. - Change of everything. 446 00:26:13,739 --> 00:26:16,325 Look, you change a couple diapers, and your whole disposition changes. 447 00:26:16,325 --> 00:26:18,577 - What are you talking about? Where are you taking me? - My office. 448 00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:21,538 Somebody I want you to meet. Hang on to your suspension of disbelief. 449 00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:23,540 This one's a pip. Maddie... 450 00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,460 I'd like you to meet... Mary. 451 00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:29,296 - Hello. - Hello. 452 00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:30,964 Forgive the way I look, but I haven't been able 453 00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:33,634 to change or bath or anything for several days. 454 00:26:33,634 --> 00:26:36,136 I've been on the run with no place to stay. 455 00:26:36,136 --> 00:26:37,679 I've been trying to find a hotel room, 456 00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:40,224 but it's Christmas, and... 457 00:26:40,224 --> 00:26:43,102 well, there are no rooms in any of the inns. 458 00:26:44,728 --> 00:26:48,065 - You hear that? No room at the inns. - So? 459 00:26:48,065 --> 00:26:51,110 So? A woman named Mary, a baby, three kings? 460 00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:53,070 - Confidentially, I'm worried. - About what? 461 00:26:53,070 --> 00:26:55,114 - Maddie, I think we're trapped in an allegory. - A what? 462 00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:56,949 I'm telling you, we got everything in this story except a camel. 463 00:26:56,949 --> 00:27:00,494 - Anybody care for a smoke? - That's it. 464 00:27:00,494 --> 00:27:03,080 What is it we can do for you? 465 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,749 I'm looking for a woman named DiPesto. 466 00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:08,669 I left something with her, and I need to pick it up now. 467 00:27:08,669 --> 00:27:11,713 - Can I-- - See you outside? Sure. 468 00:27:11,713 --> 00:27:13,423 My manger's your manger. 469 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:17,678 - Do you know what "something" is? - Something? 470 00:27:17,678 --> 00:27:19,972 Something! Something she left with DiPesto. Do you know what that is? 471 00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:22,182 - I can guess. - Well, I'm not giving that baby to a woman 472 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:24,309 - suspected of murder. - Suspected, Maddie, suspected. 473 00:27:24,309 --> 00:27:26,103 - Doesn't that word mean anything? - My mind is made up. 474 00:27:26,103 --> 00:27:28,230 - You owe her the courtesy-- - I don't owe her anything! 475 00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:29,648 - What are you doing? - I'm doing what I... 476 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:30,816 ...should have done all along! 477 00:27:30,816 --> 00:27:32,317 What I wanted to do originally. 478 00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:33,944 What I should have done last night. 479 00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:35,779 - Stop that, David! - Stop that, David! 480 00:27:35,779 --> 00:27:37,447 - I'm calling the police, David! -"The police, David!" 481 00:27:38,991 --> 00:27:41,577 - Hello, police? - Hello, police? 482 00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:44,246 - I hate you! - You love me. 483 00:27:50,544 --> 00:27:52,588 The something you left with Ms. DiPesto? 484 00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:54,131 You know all about it, don't you? 485 00:27:54,131 --> 00:27:55,674 Well, yes. 486 00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,759 It wasn't easy for me to do. 487 00:27:57,759 --> 00:28:00,554 - Murder never is. - Excuse me? 488 00:28:00,554 --> 00:28:03,223 - Murder. I said, murder never is. - Murder? 489 00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:05,559 - Murder. - I wasn't talking about murder! 490 00:28:05,559 --> 00:28:07,185 - She wasn't talking about murder. - You weren't? 491 00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:08,562 Then what were you talking about? 492 00:28:08,562 --> 00:28:10,480 Leaving Andrew with Ms. DiPesto. 493 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:11,857 - Andrew? - Andrew. 494 00:28:11,857 --> 00:28:14,860 - Andrew! - Andrew? My God. 495 00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:17,779 - Is something the matter? - No, just me. 496 00:28:17,779 --> 00:28:21,199 Then you're saying your husband really did get drunk and fall off that balcony? 497 00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:24,036 My husband was thrown over that balcony... 498 00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:25,704 by a man. 499 00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:28,624 A man that my husband testified against. 500 00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:32,085 He didn't know I was there. 501 00:28:32,085 --> 00:28:34,296 You saw the whole thing? 502 00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:48,477 So I ran... but Andrew started crying. 503 00:28:48,477 --> 00:28:50,270 This apartment door was open. 504 00:28:50,270 --> 00:28:52,564 I knew I couldn't stay there... 505 00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:56,360 but I'd seen the lady who lived there around the building. 506 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,196 She seemed sweet, kind. 507 00:28:59,196 --> 00:29:00,906 She is. 508 00:29:00,906 --> 00:29:04,952 I'd never been without my son before. 509 00:29:04,952 --> 00:29:09,706 I spent that whole night worrying about him, thinking about him. 510 00:29:09,706 --> 00:29:12,834 I knew this DiPesto woman worked for you. 511 00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:15,420 I spent the night in your hall last night. 512 00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:18,757 I was waiting at the door when this man came in this morning. 513 00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:22,928 Is there any way I can see this Ms. DiPesto 514 00:29:22,928 --> 00:29:26,223 and make sure that my son's all right? 515 00:29:26,223 --> 00:29:28,225 David. 516 00:29:28,225 --> 00:29:30,894 Sounds like the call of the hall. 517 00:29:33,021 --> 00:29:34,481 Andrew, huh? 518 00:29:40,237 --> 00:29:42,197 That poor woman. 519 00:29:42,197 --> 00:29:45,659 - You mean the "murderer"? - So, what do we do now? 520 00:29:46,535 --> 00:29:49,663 Here's a thought. What if we call the police? 521 00:29:49,663 --> 00:29:51,665 Not to arrest her. To protect her. 522 00:29:51,665 --> 00:29:54,418 - And Andrew. - And Andrew. 523 00:29:55,502 --> 00:29:59,631 Boy, I'm not looking forward to this. 524 00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:03,802 - You want some company? - Yes! No. 525 00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:06,138 But thank you. 526 00:30:17,983 --> 00:30:20,694 Okay, so now the priest, the rabbi, and the minister 527 00:30:20,694 --> 00:30:22,571 are all playing golf, right? 528 00:30:22,571 --> 00:30:24,823 Hang on a second, Mary. 529 00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:27,909 - Madelyn? - David, he's gone. 530 00:30:27,909 --> 00:30:31,621 - Gone? - Andrew and DiPesto, they've vanished! 531 00:30:31,621 --> 00:30:34,499 Mary, later on the joke, babe. 532 00:30:38,587 --> 00:30:40,881 Ms. DiPesto? 533 00:30:43,133 --> 00:30:45,844 Ms. DiPesto? Ms. DiPesto? 534 00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:58,023 "Get us some lettuce. Grab us some steak. 535 00:30:58,023 --> 00:31:01,193 Remember the cheese, please, and a box of Frosted Flakes." 536 00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:03,779 - She's not here. She's not anywhere. - You're wrong, Maddie. 537 00:31:03,779 --> 00:31:07,074 - She's definitely somewhere. - This is terrible. This is awful. 538 00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:08,825 Shoot straight from the hip, Maddie. How do you feel about this? 539 00:31:08,825 --> 00:31:11,203 You know what we're gonna have to do, don't you? 540 00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:13,205 Wrap this up in about 12 minutes, there's another show coming on the air? 541 00:31:13,205 --> 00:31:15,707 - No! We call the police! - We have to call the police! 542 00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:18,460 That's right, the police. We have to get them involved. Tell them what happened. 543 00:31:18,460 --> 00:31:20,212 - You think so, huh? - Absolutely. 544 00:31:20,212 --> 00:31:22,089 - Let's not and say we did. - David. 545 00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:23,840 Maddie! You're gonna call the police department 546 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,967 and tell them we found the child that has no mother, 547 00:31:25,967 --> 00:31:28,303 went looking for the mother, found the mother, lost the child. 548 00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:30,639 As long as I got you on the phone, I seem to have misplaced my secretary. 549 00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:33,809 Oh, and by the way, did I happen to mention I'm a private detective? 550 00:31:33,809 --> 00:31:35,977 - Something like that, yeah. - Let's keep looking. 551 00:31:35,977 --> 00:31:38,146 - Let's keep looking? - You took the words right out of my mouth. 552 00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:40,774 Incredible! My tongue never felt a thing. 553 00:31:45,779 --> 00:31:47,280 It's gonna be dark in an hour. 554 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,199 It's gonna be Christmas Eve in an hour. 555 00:31:49,199 --> 00:31:52,035 My goodness, I completely... 556 00:31:55,872 --> 00:31:58,166 With everything that's been happening, I haven't had a chance-- 557 00:31:58,166 --> 00:32:00,836 It's okay. I didn't have a chance to get you anything either. 558 00:32:03,380 --> 00:32:07,717 - Some Christmas, huh? - Yeah. 559 00:32:07,717 --> 00:32:09,219 I wish we were in Bethlehem. 560 00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:11,930 Really? Bethlehem nice this time of year? 561 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:15,183 No, I mean, I'd know how to find DiPesto and the baby if we were in Bethlehem. 562 00:32:15,183 --> 00:32:17,936 - Really? - Sure, things were much simpler back then. 563 00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:19,813 - No kidding. - No kidding. 564 00:32:19,813 --> 00:32:22,607 I mean, if there was a baby and you wanted to find him, 565 00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:24,818 the big guy would put a star in the sky. 566 00:32:24,818 --> 00:32:26,736 - A star in the sky? - Sure, don't you remember 567 00:32:26,736 --> 00:32:29,489 when the three wise men were trying to find baby Jesus? 568 00:32:29,489 --> 00:32:32,284 - They looked for a star in the sky to guide 'em. - A star in the sky! 569 00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:34,494 - Star in the sky. Led them right to him. - David! 570 00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:37,164 I think I know where DiPesto and the baby are. 571 00:32:37,164 --> 00:32:39,207 - You do? - David, would you do something for me? 572 00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:40,917 Whoa, wait a minute, you said you knew where they were. 573 00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:42,836 Well, like you said: 574 00:32:42,836 --> 00:32:45,338 "A star in the sky will guide us right to them." 575 00:33:04,900 --> 00:33:06,735 Hello, Ms. DiPesto. 576 00:33:10,071 --> 00:33:11,740 Hello, Ms. Hayes. 577 00:33:12,949 --> 00:33:16,620 Took me a while to figure out where you were and what you were doing. 578 00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:18,997 - Ms. Hayes? - Spending Christmas Eve 579 00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:21,166 under a tree with a baby. 580 00:33:21,166 --> 00:33:23,418 - Ms. Hayes... - Waiting for Santa Claus. 581 00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:26,004 - Oh, Ms. Hayes... - I really do know how you feel. 582 00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:29,424 Christmases and children. They make up for a lot of the bad stuff. 583 00:33:29,424 --> 00:33:32,135 - Oh, Ms. Hayes... - But this baby is not ours. 584 00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:34,554 - But, Ms. Hayes-- - I'm sorry, Agnes, 585 00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:37,349 but his mother's waiting back at the office. 586 00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:40,769 Terrific. Why don't you give her a call and ask her to come over? 587 00:33:44,439 --> 00:33:47,567 - He followed me here. - Well, great. I'd hate to think of him 588 00:33:47,567 --> 00:33:49,694 in this cold and lonely house by himself. 589 00:33:49,694 --> 00:33:51,529 About that phone call? 590 00:33:51,529 --> 00:33:54,241 The baby and my friend are waiting for Santa Claus. 591 00:33:54,241 --> 00:33:56,952 Call me cynical, but I'll bet they're in for a long wait. 592 00:33:56,952 --> 00:33:59,496 Ho ho ho! - Huh? 593 00:33:59,496 --> 00:34:02,540 - Ho ho ho! - Oh... 594 00:34:04,084 --> 00:34:06,086 Ho ho-- whoa! 595 00:34:07,837 --> 00:34:10,840 Ah, boy. Am I glad Christmas only comes once a year. 596 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,676 What the hell? 597 00:34:15,303 --> 00:34:17,305 Whoa. 598 00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:18,932 I want you to know, 599 00:34:18,932 --> 00:34:22,269 there is no one else I would do this for. 600 00:34:22,269 --> 00:34:24,729 That is the last time 601 00:34:24,729 --> 00:34:28,525 I jam myself into a tight hole with clothes on. 602 00:34:30,402 --> 00:34:33,738 Now, this is no way to impress Santy Claus. 603 00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:36,074 - Who is this guy? - 50 bucks for this costume, 604 00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:38,827 - and he wants to know who I am. - Shut up! 605 00:34:41,788 --> 00:34:44,708 You keep an eye on these people while she and I find a phone. 606 00:34:44,708 --> 00:34:46,251 Uhh! 607 00:34:52,757 --> 00:34:55,677 - Oof! - David! Do something. 608 00:34:56,886 --> 00:34:58,096 Ohh! - Prepare to attack. 609 00:35:00,724 --> 00:35:02,017 You're in range. 610 00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:19,993 Uhh! 611 00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:24,080 Good shot. 612 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,333 Okay, which one of you wants to go first? 613 00:35:27,751 --> 00:35:29,169 You miss her already? 614 00:35:30,295 --> 00:35:32,881 And a-one and a-two and a-- 615 00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:35,884 Uhh! 616 00:35:39,471 --> 00:35:41,389 Enough games. 617 00:35:42,766 --> 00:35:44,100 Ah... Ohh... 618 00:35:44,100 --> 00:35:45,226 The jig is up. 619 00:35:46,853 --> 00:35:48,188 - Drop it! - Drop it! 620 00:35:49,939 --> 00:35:52,150 Drop it. 621 00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:54,694 ♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪ 622 00:35:54,694 --> 00:35:58,740 ♪ And a Happy New Year ♪ 623 00:35:58,740 --> 00:36:01,326 I'd recognize those crowns anywhere! 624 00:36:01,326 --> 00:36:04,204 - Three Kings. - Wow! 625 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:06,456 Uhh! 626 00:36:07,248 --> 00:36:09,125 Take a load off. 627 00:36:15,799 --> 00:36:18,385 - I just had a thought. - There's a first. 628 00:36:18,385 --> 00:36:20,387 No, think about it for a minute. 629 00:36:20,387 --> 00:36:22,222 Santa's Hotline... 630 00:36:22,222 --> 00:36:24,516 Mary and Joseph's story... 631 00:36:24,516 --> 00:36:26,976 the way the office is decorated. 632 00:36:26,976 --> 00:36:29,145 You think this could be the Christmas episode? 633 00:36:29,145 --> 00:36:32,565 - You know, it just might be. - Nah. 634 00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:35,402 Couldn't be the Christmas episode. There's no snow. 635 00:36:42,826 --> 00:36:43,993 Oh... 636 00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:48,164 ♪ The first Noel ♪ 637 00:36:48,164 --> 00:36:51,167 ♪ The angel did say ♪ 638 00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:54,712 ♪ Was to certain poor shepherds ♪ 639 00:36:54,712 --> 00:36:57,757 ♪ In fields as they lay ♪ 640 00:36:57,757 --> 00:37:01,094 ♪ In fields where they ♪ 641 00:37:01,094 --> 00:37:04,305 ♪ Lay keeping their sheep ♪ 642 00:37:04,305 --> 00:37:07,517 ♪ On a cold winter's night ♪ 643 00:37:07,517 --> 00:37:10,812 ♪ That was so deep ♪ 644 00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:17,861 ♪ Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel ♪ 645 00:37:17,861 --> 00:37:20,613 ♪ Born is the King ♪ 646 00:37:20,613 --> 00:37:23,992 ♪ Of Israel ♪ 647 00:37:23,992 --> 00:37:27,203 ♪ They looked up ♪ 648 00:37:27,203 --> 00:37:30,290 ♪ And saw a star ♪ 649 00:37:30,290 --> 00:37:33,585 ♪ Shining in the east ♪ 650 00:37:33,585 --> 00:37:36,713 ♪ Beyond them far ♪ 651 00:37:36,713 --> 00:37:40,133 ♪ And to the earth ♪ 652 00:37:40,133 --> 00:37:43,136 ♪ It gave great light ♪ 653 00:37:43,136 --> 00:37:46,473 ♪ And so it continued ♪ 654 00:37:46,473 --> 00:37:49,809 ♪ Both day and night ♪ 655 00:37:49,809 --> 00:37:56,858 ♪ Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel ♪ 656 00:37:56,858 --> 00:38:02,906 ♪ Born is the King of Israel ♪ 657 00:38:02,906 --> 00:38:06,242 ♪ This star drew nigh ♪ 658 00:38:06,242 --> 00:38:09,370 ♪ To the northwest ♪ 659 00:38:09,370 --> 00:38:12,624 ♪ O'er Bethlehem ♪ 660 00:38:12,624 --> 00:38:15,877 ♪ It took its rest ♪ 661 00:38:15,877 --> 00:38:19,255 ♪ And there it did ♪ 662 00:38:19,255 --> 00:38:22,383 ♪ Both stop and stay ♪ 663 00:38:22,383 --> 00:38:25,595 ♪ Right over the place ♪ 664 00:38:25,595 --> 00:38:28,890 ♪ Where Jesus lay ♪ 665 00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:35,939 ♪ Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel ♪ 666 00:38:35,939 --> 00:38:41,820 ♪ Born is the King of Israel ♪ 667 00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:45,406 ♪ Then entered in there ♪ 668 00:38:45,406 --> 00:38:48,451 ♪ Wise men three ♪ 669 00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:51,621 ♪ Fell reverently ♪ 670 00:38:51,621 --> 00:38:54,999 ♪ Upon their knee ♪ 671 00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:58,419 ♪ And offered there ♪ 672 00:38:58,419 --> 00:39:01,339 ♪ In his presence ♪ 673 00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:04,676 ♪ Their gold and myrrh ♪ 674 00:39:04,676 --> 00:39:07,929 ♪ And frankincense ♪ 675 00:39:07,929 --> 00:39:14,936 ♪ Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel ♪ 676 00:39:14,936 --> 00:39:18,314 ♪ Born is the King ♪ 677 00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:24,946 ♪ Of Israel ♪ 678 00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:28,157 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, everybody! 679 00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:30,827 Merry Christmas! 680 00:39:58,062 --> 00:40:02,650 ♪ Some walk by night ♪ 681 00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:07,488 ♪ Some fly by day ♪ 682 00:40:07,488 --> 00:40:11,492 ♪ Nothing could change you ♪ 683 00:40:11,492 --> 00:40:17,206 ♪ Set and sure of the way ♪ 684 00:40:17,206 --> 00:40:21,753 ♪ There is the sun and moon ♪ 685 00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:26,299 ♪ They sing their own sweet tune ♪ 686 00:40:26,299 --> 00:40:31,095 ♪ Watch them when dawn is due ♪ 687 00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:35,892 ♪ Sharing one space ♪ 688 00:40:35,892 --> 00:40:40,355 ♪ We'll walk by night, babe ♪ 689 00:40:40,355 --> 00:40:45,193 ♪ We'll fly by day ♪ 690 00:40:45,193 --> 00:40:49,364 ♪ Moonlighting strangers ♪ 691 00:40:49,364 --> 00:40:54,577 ♪ Who just met on the way ♪